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Forgiveness doesn’t mean “we can still be friends.” 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean “it’s okay if it happens again.” 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean “I trust you now.” 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean “I will forget about.” 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean “it wasn’t a mistake.” 

Forgiveness doesn’t mean “the hurt does not remain.” 

Forgiveness only means “I have accepted the event.” 

Forgiveness is about moving on, from them. 

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Enough?

I stand before the cracked and ancient wood. The door, swollen from the humidity, creaks against its frame. The knob sits cold and rusty, rarely touched. My eyes bore holes into it. I keep waiting for it to simply melt away under the heat of my gaze. Afraid it might, I glance around me. The familiar walls of the surrounding room are covered with a gentle blue sheen. They are comforting, but suffocating. They provide protection, but at the cost of freedom and companionship. I used to believe the price was worth it. All the shades are drawn, hiding the world I thought was out of reach. I look back to the door. On the other side, there will be fear, and sadness. But, on the other side, there is the world. There is a rich and textured life full of adventures, and love. On the other side, is joy. Do I have courage enough to open it?

Historical Daisy

Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do.

I’m not crazy, nor am I in love with you.

But, I only propose a marriage, ‘cause, unless you have a miscarriage,

Since your honor’s destroyed, and you can’t be employed, 

Then, otherwise, you’d be screwed.

Henry, Henry, here is my answer, true.

I’m not crazy. So, while I’m not in love with you,

I’ll still accept the marriage, while praying for a miscarriage,

‘Cause father’s got a small purse, and you could be worse.

And, this way, we BOTH will be screwed. 

Everywhere He Is In Chains

When the lord, up on high,

Tethered me to this place, dry, 

Without a drop to drink,

All that I could ever do,

Without the aid I need, ’tis true,

Is to sit and think. 

And, with nothing but to ponder, 

I have slowly come to wonder,

What is the point of this? 

This exercise in futility,

This absence of ability, 

That seems to have no end?

Am I but a simple display,

To warn others who go astray,

To turn back to the path? 

Or, am I entertainment,

To those in better arrangements,

Who wish to laugh at pain? 

Or is it even worse yet?

Am I some unknown monster’s pet,

To be caged and kept apart? 

Or is even that too good for me?

Am I exactly what I seem,

Without any purpose? 

And, does it matter in the end,

If you are absent, foe, or friend?

Would it change my circumstance?

And, as misery clouds my mind, 

I try to leave these thoughts behind, 

But, they are all I have. 

For, here I must remain, 

Whether it brings pleasure or pain, 

Or I yearn to be free.

So, I question and escape in dreams, 

Because, in this world of pointless things, 

At least it passes time… 

Kintsugi

I know that I am broken,

But many disagree.

They say that I am bent, 

Under pressure, but still me.

I think they just don’t get it.

They don’t understand. 

I know that I am broken, 

But this is not my end. 

Sand down that edge there,

And fill in that small crack. 

Glue it all together 

And find that I am back.

My appearance may have changed,

Maybe even my purpose. 

But, I am only reinvented, 

Which is not the same as worthless. 

I know that I am broken, 

And I will be fixed again. 

I wonder, this time, 

What form I will be in…

Won’t Feel It

Hang me up and cut me down

Do what you can do

You have delivered so much pain

It’s what I expect from you

Sling your stones and break my bones

Make me feel despair

I am worthless in your eyes

But I no longer care

You pushed too far, tipped me over

My world flipped upside down

You left me lost and grasping

Now know what I found

You twist the truth and tell me lies

But I know this much is true

I am leaving, I have realized

I am better without you

Creating Wonderland (Part 2)

Fight or Flight

Instincts kicking in

Flight, not Fight

Don’t think I can win

Flight, not Fight

Nowhere can I run

Fight, not Flight

Face what was done

Fight, not Flight

Better won’t arrive

Fight, not Flight

Not unless we try

Take me to Wonderland, please

A place I know makes sense to me

For I don’t believe in fairytales

But everyone’s a liar

 

Take me to Wonderland, please

Where people live by what they believe

For I am trying to be true to me

But everyone’s given up

 

Take me to Wonderland, please

A place where misfits find release

For I am scared to be myself

But everyone wears masks

 

Take me to Wonderland, please

Where chaos is embraced, you see

For society is ever more controlled

And nobody can breathe

 

Take me to Wonderland, please

A place that I do long to be

For I’ve already left and gone

But, nobody’s all here

 

Take me to Wonderland, please

A place where good and bad find peace

Because both struggle inside of my

And everybody’s heart

 

Take me to Wonderland, please

A place that makes no sense, you see

For I know Life’s unfair, crazy

But everyone’s a denier

You =/= Me

I need you to know that I’m not you.

I have my own feelings and point of view.

I have my own demons and my own faults.

I have my own secrets in my own vault.

I live my own story, shoulder my own strife.

I make my own mistakes, fight my own fights.

I earn my own wisdom, believe my own truth.

I need you to know that I’m not you.

The scary thing about rock bottom is it doesn’t exist.

You can always fall further, find a new, deeper pit.

But, perhaps this realization shouldn’t hope stop.

For, if there’s no bottom, is there a top?